Beautiful
by Eclipse-Vamp
Summary: Entry for the Plot Bunny Contest. Alice is upset with the way she looks and tries to change herself, but ends up finding out what true beauty is. Full of angst.


**A/N: Here's my other contest entry to the Plot Bunny Contest! This was the prompt I was given: ****Plot Bunny #2: A really angsty type of story having to do with plastic surgery. I think with the amount of impressionable young girls and women having to read about perfect Bella's and Rosalie's and then seeing people like Hiedi Montag abuse herself...It hopefully can deliver a message that perfection isn't beautiful but your flaws are and drive that home in the story...**

_**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize in here is not mine. I own nothing.**_

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ENTRY FOR THE PLOT BUNNY CONTEST**  
**Story Name: Beautiful**  
**Penname: Eclipse-Vamp**  
**Rating: T**  
**Word Count (not including header/author's note): 2,485**  
**To see other entries in the Plot Bunny Contest, please visit the following C2:**  
**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Plot_Bunny_Contest/82048/**

"_You're hair is SOOO ugly. I mean, have you _ever_ washed it? 'Cause it looks like anything that is creepy and crawly has lived in it for the past thirty years."_

Alice looked at herself in the mirror. Her short spikes _were_ a little . . . matted here and there. They were definitely not as silky or luxurious as her friends' hair. Bella and Rosalie were the two most beautiful girls in school, no doubt. And it wasn't just their outsides that were beautiful, their insides were as well. The outside was what mattered the most, at least that's what everyone had told her. She nimbly poked and prodded the small amount of hair she had. It really wasn't her fault that it was this short—she had gone through chemotherapy and her hair had not taken too well to it. She was better now—no more leukemia—but, still, it didn't look_ beautiful_.

Even though her mother, friends, and boyfriend told her otherwise all the time, she now could see that they were truly lying. When she had first lost her hair, there was barely any left, and Jasper, her boyfriend, stayed by her side the whole time. He would always tell her multiple times a day how beautiful she was, and stick up for her even if both of them knew she was wrong. He loved her, but she didn't know how.

Alice went to Walgreens on her own; making sure no one saw her really. She slinked into the store and went to the hair care products aisle. She grabbed the bottle the second she found it, and bought it in two minutes flat. She quickly got in her car and drove home. Jasper was waiting outside for her, like always.

"Hey, Alice," he greeted her, taking her hand.

"Hey," Alice said, trying to hide her Walgreens bag.

"What did you buy?" Jasper drawled, eyeing her bag curiously.

"Oh nothing!" Alice exclaimed, pushing the bag farther behind her. "Just girl stuff. You wouldn't be interested!" She tried to look as innocent as possible. Fortunately for her, Jasper was used to strange behavior from his girlfriend and quickly shrugged it off.

"Okay," he said, walking her up to her house. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure," Alice said quickly, something she always did when she was trying to hide something. "Make yourself right at home."

Jasper sat down on their couch and looked at Alice expectantly.

"What do you want to do?" he asked her, and she smiled sheepishly.

"I, kind of, need to, sort of, take a shower right now, so can you just watch TV while I do that?" she said in a rush, and Jasper nodded, shrugging.

"Sure. Go ahead." He turned the TV on and started watching whatever was on it while Alice rushed off to the bathroom, turning the water on, taking off her clothes, and hoping in. She read the instructions on the bottle—though it I_ was_ a little embarrassing having to read how to put shampoo on—but she needed to so she could get her hair perfect.

Alice washed her hair out and stepped out of the shower, turning the water off and wrapping a towel around her body. She looked in the mirror and saw all the other flaws that had been pointed out to her by Lauren.

_Oh my God! Are you even a _girl_? Where are your boobs?_

Alice looked down at her chest. It was true—she did have a smaller bust, but she had thought that was just because she was petite. Was she just a freak of nature? How had she become this ugly without realizing it beforehand? Maybe she could've put a stop to it somehow…or done _something_. Alice bit her lip and looked away from herself. She didn't want to see anymore.

_Look—you have a pot belly! And a double chin! How gross! What do you eat to get like _that_?_

Alice poked her midsection. It jiggled. Lauren was right. She _did_ have a doughy tummy.

"Oh my God!" Alice exclaimed as she turned to the side and looked at herself. "I look like I'm pregnant!"

The tears were now burning in her eyes before she could stop herself from crying. How had she let herself go this much?

Unwillingly, Alice's eyes trailed back to the mirror. She stared at her chin—or, she should say, chins. When did that sprout up? How had she not noticed that before? She tried lifting her chin up to get rid of it, but she could still see it.

"Ugh!" Alice grunted, leaning against the bathroom counter for support. "How did I get this way?"

_Sheesh, Alice, can anyone get any _shorter_? I mean, seriously! Everyone in the universe is taller than you!_

Alice glanced shamefully at the mirror, which had to be lowered so she could see through it better. She had trouble even reaching things in her own locker! Why wasn't she growing anymore? Her parents were tall! Why was she still under five feet at eighteen years old?

_How does Jasper even stand to kiss you, let alone look at you?_

Alice really had an answer to that. It wasn't because he loved her—it was because he _pitied _her. He knew that she was desperately in love with him and felt bad that he couldn't return her feelings.

Even though Lauren had said no more—Jasper had come in then and all but hit her for making Alice cry—Alice could see other flaws popping up. Her ears and nose were really weird—nearly elfish; she didn't have pretty, full lips whatsoever; her eyelashes were barely there and her eyebrows were insanely bushy; she had cheeks that were too big for her and a manly chin; her shoulders were too broad for any girl to want; she had rolls of fat on her back; she didn't have a nice, round bottom like Bella; her neck was too long; her thighs were _huge_; her legs were so rough even _with_ lotion on. No matter what angle Alice looked at herself, she could how ugly she was.

The tears were pouring relentlessly now. and Alice tried to dress herself while her face got soaked with saltwater. Eventually, she had herself dried and looking like she had only taken a shower and nothing more. No red eyes whatsoever.

"Hey," Jasper said when he noticed Alice walking back in. "What movie do you want to watch?"

Alice smiled, and Jasper could tell something was wrong as she sat down next to him. If she wanted to talk about it, though, she'd tell him. He didn't want to pressure her into doing anything she felt uncomfortable with.

"Meet the Parents," Alice sighed, and snuggled into Jasper's side, needing his comfort.

Jasper looked down at her, shocked. Normally, they didn't touch each other—their connection was deeper emotionally than physically—and they had never really snuggled while watching a movie. He quickly put Alice's choice of movie in and held her close to him, hoping he could get rid of whatever was bothering her.

Alice threw up once more in the toilet before the tears filled her eyes. She'd been throwing up all her meals for the past few weeks and it wasn't working. Her friends were starting to notice that something was up and she couldn't handle the stress anymore. Why couldn't she just wish to be perfectly beautiful like her best friends and make it happen in two seconds? Why was everything so unfair to her?

She heard familiar footsteps and quickly flushed the toilet and walked out of the stall, coming face to face with Rosalie and Bella. Their perfect faces showed worry.

"Emmett said he heard someone throwing up in here when he walked by," Bella explained sheepishly.

"We were wondering if it was you," Rosalie finished for Bella. Alice's eyes widened.

_If I deny it, they'd never buy it,_ she thought to herself. _No other girl's in here. Quick! Think up a lie!_

"Um . . ." Alice started nervously and her friends raised their eyebrows questioningly at her. "I've been having morning sickness. I . . . I think I-I'm p-pre-pregnant." Bella and Rosalie looked shocked and quickly pulled her into their arms.

"Oh, Alice, we're so sorry!" Bella said, rubbing Alice's back reassuringly.

"We'll stick with you every step of the way," Rosalie agreed, pecking her friend's check.

"Thanks guys," Alice said, hiding her face in their shoulders.

"Does Jasper—"Bella started.

"No!" Alice nearly shouted. "Don't tell him. I-I'll tell him when I think I'm ready." The last thing she wanted was to try to convince her boyfriend that he'd gotten her pregnant when they'd been physically intimate, which they hadn't.

"Okay. Have you taken a test, yet?" she asked her. When Alice shook her head, Rosalie continued, "I'll buy you one later today and I'll come home after school and you can take it."

Alice tried to smile appreciatively at her, but it came out as a grimace. Thankfully, the grimace suited the fake situation that Alice just put herself in. When her friends walked out of the bathroom, she tried to refrain from crying again. Why couldn't she have wonderful personalities like her friends and not lie, especially with a lie as big as being mistakenly pregnant?

"At least I look like I'm pregnant," Alice grumbled to herself, poking her protruding belly. She was waiting for Rosalie to come to her house in a panic and force her to take the unnecessary pregnancy test.

Right on cue, Rosalie hammered on the door before letting herself in—Alice always unlocked the door when she was expecting someone.

"Hi, Alice," she exclaimed in a fake happy voice. "You left one of your necklaces at my house and I wanted to bring it over here. Can I put it in your bathroom?"

"My parents aren't here, Rose," Alice murmured, sighing, and getting up to grab the stupid brown bag in her best friend's hands. "Let's get this over with."

Rosalie was bouncing up and down as they stared at the test that Alice had peed on. Alice on the other hand, was looking guiltily at her feet. She felt terrible lying to her friends. She'd never told them a lie before until now. Why was she turning into such a terrible person?

"Oh!" Rosalie gasped. "Negative! Thank _God!_" She clapped her hands joyfully and looked at Alice, who was trying to smile. "Oh, I know that your maternal instinct is morning for the unborn child, but you should probably wait until a little later to try for another." Rosalie hugged Alice, her arm sleeve becoming wet with Alice's tears. She shook it off, thinking that Alice was just happy or upset about not being pregnant.

Not eating much and working off all the calories she forced inside of herself worked much better than throwing up. And no one noticed. Alice was a small and petite girl—everyone would automatically suspect that she wouldn't have much of an appetite.

Weeks were passing, and she was losing pound after pound—even a couple of inches around her stomach and thighs. She felt weak all the time, and nearly passed out in gym, but it was worth being skinny. Slowly, she was starting to look as beautiful as her friends, but she still had a long way to go.

For the flaws on her face, Alice started buying and wearing heavier make up. Normally, she'd just use mascara and eye shadow with the occasional lipstick, but she was now going all out on everything to try to mask up her terrible flaws.

Alice walked around the school feeling more confident that ever with her newly found beauty of sorts. Lauren turned the corner and ran into Alice, causing some of her make up to smear. She and her friends laughed and made very rude remarks about how she was so fake and still didn't look pretty when she tried. Alice ran off the campus and went back to her house where her parents were conveniently gone.

Alice cried into her bed harder than she ever had before. She would never be beautiful. No guy would ever want her—and Jasper would soon break up with her. She would forever be an ugly hag!

There was no other way to help herself become more—wait a minute. There was _one_ more thing that she could do: plastic surgery. Her parents had the money to, and she legally was an adult; she could make her own decisions. The clouds were lifting in Alice's mind as she ran over to her computer and searched all about plastic surgery. It seemed like it would be perfect and Alice couldn't stop smiling.

"Alice, what the heck are you doing?" Jasper's voice sounded behind her and she jumped, immediately closing out of the Internet before he could see what page she was on. It was too late—he had seen. "Why on Earth would you need plastic surgery?"

Alice didn't want to answer that. She looked guiltily at her feet, twiddling her fingers together in her nervousness. Jasper realized what this was about. It was Lauren. He'd seen Lauren and her friends talking to Alice again before she ran off campus (he had followed Alice home).

"You're beautiful, Alice," he said. and Alice cringed, not wanting to hear those lies. "Can't you see that? What you're doing to yourself has got to stop. Look at you—you're skin and bones, Alice. You're wearing so much make up that I can hardly recognize you. Why are you doing this to yourself? Why, Alice?"

Tears were pouring down her cheeks down as she continued to refuse meeting Jasper's eyes. Jasper crouched down so he could face her. He gently kissed her tears away and caressed her face.

"You're the most beautiful girl in the universe, Al," he whispered to her, his green eyes looking deeply into her grey ones. "And it doesn't even matter what you look like." Alice closed her eyes in a last attempt to not meet Jasper's.

"You're only saying that because I'm _not_ beautiful," she mumbled in disagreement, and Jasper shook his head.

"I didn't only fall in love with your looks," Jasper murmured. "I fell in love with your heart. Alice, you're the quirkiest girl I've ever known. You are absolutely wonderful, charismatic, joyful, and selfless. You balance me out completely, and I love you more than anyone or anything in the world."

Alice's eyes opened and met Jasper's before she gave him a passionate kiss. When they broke apart, Alice kept her forehead pressed to Jasper's.

"Thank you," she said, holding his face in both her hands. "You're the best person ever. You make me _feel_ beautiful. And maybe not on the outside yet, but definitely on the inside."

Jasper smiled and kissed her once more.

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A/N: I know that a lot of you girls out there feel like you have to do this sort of thing to be beautiful. If you want to talk about it, just give me a PM. I'll be here to listen and talk if you want me to. Hope this pleased you, whoever sent in this plot bunny!**


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